I didn't realise how moving I found the class at the women's refuge until today. I was explaining how it went to my 11am hangover cure class and I felt tears spring up in my eyes! What! The class was so filled with laughter and positivity and children running amock that I didn't realise until I'd chatted to someone else how movinged I was by the stoic humour of the women there.
I had to dilly dally around in a random cafe before the class. I'd left lots of time to get there, passionate about not letting the ladies down by being late. But as the traffic gods and the parking gods had aligned for me I had time to spare and reflect.
I reflected on my class plan initially to be about loving yourself and realised it would be better to ask the ladies what they wanted from yoga (relaxation was the answer- I can do that!)
I reflected about why I wanted it to be about self acceptance so much. Well, my record of abusive relationships has (thankfully) been mild. But I have been stuck in a manipulative relationship (the one before my wonderful husband) this comparatively mild form of manipulation was hard enough to get out of. So in a small way I can imagine the bravery these women had to have to escape a properly abuse relationship. With kids. And judging by how small my self esteem was after 'Nasty Ex' I don't dare to imagine the emotional bruises that the women refuge ladies were healing from. So that's why I needed it to be about self esteem. But that was projecting my needs.
With thoughts of 'Nasty Ex' protruding into my mind I tottered along the road to the unassuming and secret location of the women's refuge. Feeling slightly self conscious that I'd been in a business meeting in the morning (sharp suit dress and heels) and had forgotten shoes to match my yoga outfit (pink flowery leggings) which I now wore. Thus the totter. So the sharp heels were looking really rather odd in my get up plus with lugging 7 yoga mats!
I'd hope to be inconspicuous and park far away but I actually drew more attention to the house in my tottering gait and flowery leggings and long hike to the class. So I felt stupid about that too. And really ashamed that despite it being inappropriate, I was quite excited by the 'secret' location and 'cover story' that I invented to explain to men why I was there (if they asked). It's not fun and games for the ladies.
That said I have never given such a joyful class! We giggled, messed about, were happily disturbed by toddlers crawling about and still managed a full yoga class, completed with a silent (ish!) Savasana and proper discussion about how yoga can help you relax and be more resilient to the negative energy from other people that can otherwise affect you.
So all in all. Moving. Inspiring. Brilliant women there. And I'm very pleased to have been invited back to do another yoga class maybe in the garden next time when it's warmer!