“Why am I doing this….?!”
This is a question that has been asked of me over and over since I signed up to, and embarked upon my 200 hour yoga teacher training with Yoga Quota in September 2017. By friends, colleagues, family...at the first retreat of the course by fellow yogis, and by myself to myself often, and over again…
No really, why am I doing this?
I love coming to the Yoga Quota studio.
I joined back in November 2016 and for the first time felt what it was like to experience yoga without the silent seriousness that accompanied my previous studios and always made me feel a little shy and awkward. It was through the open and friendly vibe, so wonderfully cultivated at YQ that I finally developed a regular practice. Isn’t there a quote somewhere “if a little is good, more must be better”? In the spirit of that philosophy and in finding something that I loved, I wanted to learn more!
We had a module recently on cultural awareness and the risk of appropriation, with a fascinating and necessary discussion around modern yoga in the West that made me realise that perhaps this was the crux - that in order to honour my own practice I had identified that I must first honour its origins, to be respectful of the rich cultural history, to be questioning and inquisitive of yoga philosophy and to essentially be as educated and as aware as I am able.
So are you quitting your job to become a yoga teacher?
Another question often asked by friends, family and colleagues alongside “why are you doing this?”, and another answer that is not as simple as “I love yoga so I’ll just do more” or “yes”.
Becoming a yoga teacher is something I have aspirations to certainly, and embarking upon this course is just the beginning of that journey that will perhaps one day result in me shouting “Yes!”.
But this is a very personal journey, one where I am learning so much more than I ever expected (e.g. the history and philosophy of yoga - my original answer as to “why am I doing this”). I am learning about myself, making peace and being accepting of the path I am on, challenging myself everytime I go to a training day, building my self-confidence and self-esteem and cementing yoga as a practice throughout as many aspects of my life as I can. For me, acknowledging that this is only the beginning is truly humbling and I am enjoying the acceptance that comes with that - that I will not have ‘completed’ yoga at the end of this course. I am looking forward to experiencing the journey as it unfolds, whether that means teaching immediately or in years to come.
Something I read recently that has stuck with me is that to develop ones practice is to know ourselves more profoundly and make sense of the world in which we live. I hope one day to be able to share what I have learnt through this process with others, through teaching classes. But just now I am taking each moment as it comes, and enjoying seeing how it all unfolds, expectation free.